If you are planning or have already initiated a separation for the New Year you are not alone. January is the busiest month of the year for divorce proceedings to be started.
Are you spending too much time thinking about Christmas past? Wondering how you will get through this Christmas? Concerned that Christmas will never be the same for you and your children?
You are not alone.
Here’s a blog post that a friend of mine wrote called “On My Own” http://www.suddenlyincharge.ca/stories/on-my-own/
“A major thing that I have found both tough and rewarding is being a single Dad. “
It is amazing how many things are new and exciting to you after separation. You need to be open to saying yes to those opportunities and accepting those challenges thought…YES that is the hard part 🙂
Here’s the sad reality of our times. Depending on where you read it, the divorce rates are between 45-55%.
The increase in divorce rates however, has caused an influx of readily available solutions. There are many options available to help you make your divorce as unique as your family.
Separation is scary; I’m not going to lie.
The fear of the unknown, new parenting roles & responsibilities, anger and confusion often play a part. The process can be frustrating, complicated and take time.
It doesn’t have to be terrible though. It’s important to realize that support is out there and you have options.
SEPARATION2SUCCESS is one such support group. It gives you the opportunity to meet and share with a group of people that are experiencing a similar life transition to you. The group is guided by a Family Mediator and Separation Coach. You can get support from peers, professional information and linked to local professionals for a fraction of the cost of individual coaching.
It doesn’t matter if you are male or female, the mom or the dad role…you may find yourself trying to co-parent with someone that you don’t see eye to eye with.
I’d love to say that there is an easy solution. I can waive my magic wand and your ex will be cooperative and work with you to make good decisions in the best interests of the kids…OR maybe it would be easier for me to just make a movie about it instead.
What people forget is that even if you were still together you and your ex would have disagreed about parenting issues. How you handled them would have been different though.
Without a vested interest in the relationship there is little room for open discussion and compromise.
You have been divorced for 6 years. Your parenting plan did an excellent job of identifying when each parent would be the “active” parent and spend time with your kids. It set out how you were going to parent, how you would handle holidays, expenses and how you as parents would make changes to the plan.
Surprise, surprise, your 15 year old has decided that your parenting plan no longer works for him/her. Did you discuss during your separation how you would handle changes that were initiated by your children?