You are thinking of or have made the decision to separate…now what?
There are so many things to think about. Divorce is a big commitment. It’s important to remember a few things:
a) Stay focused on the children.
b) Don’t rush into things.
c) Make a plan and get something in writing so that you can manage expectations and communicate effectively.
d) You can manage this process. Your separation does not need to be decided by judges in a courthouse. Use a process or combination of processes that suit your requirements.
e) If you make this a war, it will become expensive, it will be time consuming and you are unlikely to get what you want.
As there are many different types of families, there are many different types of separations.
The stage you are at in your separation and how well you can communicate with your ex-partner will help you decide which options you have and which route you want to take.
Types of Separation
- Pre-Separation– You are thinking of separating however your partner may not know or you both may agree and want information before you make the final decision.
- Trial separation-You would like to spend some time apart to see if reconciliation or divorce is the right option. No set decisions have been made but you want to make sure you don’t make mistakes and that you ensure you and your partner know exactly how this is going to go.
- Still in same home-You have made the decision to separate but for financial, personal or parenting reasons you have agreed to continue to live together for a period of time.
- One spouse has left– You have made the decision to separate and one partner has already moved out of the home and is living elsewhere.
- Interim– You have recently separated or made the decision to separate however you are not ready to make final decisions.
- Post Separation– You have separated; either recently or some time ago, and now is the time to really sit down and work out the details of your separation and you have the intention of filing for a divorce.
- Nesting– You have decided to separate and you each move in and out of the house when it’s your turn to be the active parent.
Whether you are pre, post or right in the middle of your separation you can get access to information and support through coaching.